Meryl Streep The Skin Cancer Foundation's Annual Skin Sense Award Gala held at the Pierre Hotel New York City, USA - 11.10.06 Credit: Doug Meszler / WENN
Meryl Streep The Skin Cancer Foundation's Annual Skin Sense Award Gala held at the Pierre Hotel New York City, USA - 11.10.06 Credit: Doug Meszler / WENN
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Narrator: Once upon a time in a far-off kingdom
there lay a small village at the edge of the woods

Cinderella: I wish
 
Narrator: And in this village

Cinderella: More than anything

Narrator: Lived a young maiden

Cinderella: More than life, more than jewels

Narrator: A care-free young lad

Jack: I wish, more than life

Narrator: And a childless baker

Wife, Baker: I wish

Narrator:  With his wife

Baker: More than anything

Wife: More than the moon

Wife, Baker: I wish

Cinderella: The king is giving a festival

Baker, Wife: More than life

Jack: I wish

Cinderella: I wish to go to the festival

Baker, Wife: More than riches

Cinderella: And the ball

Jack: I wish my cow would give us some milk

Cinderella, Wife: More than anything

Baker: I wish we had a child

Jack: Please, pal

Wife: I want a child

Jack: Squeeze, pal

Cinderella
I wish to go to the festival

Jack (overlapping)
I wish you'd give us some milk
or even cheese

Baker, Wife (overlapping)
I wish we might have a child

All Four:
I wish

Stepmother (to Cinderella)
You wish to go to the festival?

Narrator
The poor girl's parents had died

Stepmother
You, Cinderella, the festival?

Stepmother, Florinda, Lucinda (over) You, Cinderella, the festival?
You wish to go the festival?
The festival?
The king's festival?

Narrator: And now she lived with her stepmother

Stepmother: The festival? Ha!

Narrator: Who had two daughters of her own

Florinda: Look at your nails!

Lucinda: Look at your dress!

Stepmother: People would laugh at you

Cinderella: Nevertheless

Cinderella, Stepsisters, Stepmother: We still wish
to go to the festival and dance before the prince

Stepsisters, Stepmother: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Narrator: All three were beautiful of a face but vile and black of heart.
The young lad had no father and his mother

Jack's mother: I wish

Narrator: Well, she was at her wit's end

Jack's mother: I wish my son were not a fool
I wish my house was not a mess
I wish the cow was full of milk
I wish the walls were full of gold
I wish a lot of things
Ooh! What in heaven's name are you doing with the cow inside the house?

Jack: I thought if he were nice and warm he might produce some milk

Jack's mother: It's a she! How many times do I have to tell you that only she's can give milk?

Narrator: And then there was a hungry little girl who always wore a red cape

Little Red Riding Hood: I wish
It's not for me
It's for my granny in the woods
A loaf of bread, please
To bring my poor old hungry
granny in the woods
Just a loaf of bread, please

Stepmother: Cinderella, if you can
pick up these lentils and finish your
chores in time, then you may go to
the ball with us. Come along, ladies!

Stepsisters: Yes, mother. Good luck.

Cinderella: Come little birds
Down from the eaves
And in the leaves
Over fields
Out of castles and ponds

Jack: Now, squeeze, pal

Cinderella: Ahhh
Quick, little birds
Flick through the ashes
Pick and peck, but swiftly
Sift through the ashes
Into the pot

Jack's mother: Now listen to me well, son.
Milky-White must be taken to market


Jack: Mother, no! He's the best cow in the world

Jack's Mother: Was! She has been dry for weeks now.
With no food or money, we have no choice but to sell her 


Jack: But Milky-White is my best friend!

Jack's Mother: Look at her!
There are bugs on her dugs
There are flies in her eyes
There's a lump on her rump
Big enough to be a hump

Jack: But

Jack's Mother: We've no time to sit and dither
While her withers wither with her
And no one keeps a cow for a friend!
Sometimes I wonder what's going on
in that head of yours


Little Red Riding Hood: Into the woods, it's time to go
I hate to leave, I have to, though
Into the woods, it's time, and so
I must begin my journey
Into the woods
And through the trees
To where I am expected, ma'am
Into the woods
To grandmother's house
Into the woods
To grandmother's house

Wife: Are you certain of your way?

Little Red Riding Hood: The way is clear
The light is good
I have no fear, nor no one should
The woods are just trees
The trees are just wood
I sort of hate to ask it
But do you have a basket?

Wife: Yes, I do

Baker: I don't suppose you're planning on buying any of these?

Wife: Shhh. Now don't stray and be late alright?

Baker: You might save some of those sweets for granny!
Oh, my!

Wife: Leave it!

Baker: She's a thief!

Little Red Riding Hood: Into the woods
and down the dell
The path is straight I know it well
Into the woods, and who can tell
What's waiting on the journey
Into the woods to bring some bread
To granny who is sick in bed
Never can tell what lies ahead
For all that I know she's already dead
But into the woods, into the woods
Into the woods to grandmother's house
And home before dark!

Stepsisters: Cinderella! Get up here!

Cinderella: Fly, birds, back to the sky
Back to the eaves and the leaves
And the fields and the-

Florinda: Hurry up and do my hair, Cinderella!
[to Lucinda]
Are you really wearing that?

Lucinda: Here, I found a little tear, Cinderella!
[to Florinda]
Can't you hide it with a hat?

Cinderella: You look beautiful

Florinda: I know

Lucinda: She means me

Florinda: No, she didn't

Cinderella: Mother said be good
Father said be nice
That was always their advice
So be nice, Cinderella
Good, Cinderella
Nice, good, good, nice

Florinda: Tighter!

Cinderella: What's the good of being good
If everyone is blind
And you're always left behind?
Never mind, Cinderella
Kind Cinderella
Nice, good, nice, kind, good, nice

Florinda: Ow! Not that tight! Clod

Baker: Who might that be?

Wife: We've sold our last loaf of bread

Baker: It's the witch from next door!

Wife: We have no bread

Witch: I don't want your bread!

Baker: Now what is it you wish?

Witch: It's not what I wish. It's what you wish.
Nothing cooking in that belly now, is there?
And there will never be. Unless you do exactly as I say.
In three days time, a blue moon will appear. Only then
can the curse be undone

Wife: What curse?

Witch: The one I placed on this house

Baker: What are you talking about?

Witch: In the past, when you were no more than a babe,
your father brought his young wife and you to this cottage.
They were lovely couple, but not lovely neighbors.
You see, your mother was with child and she developed an
unusual appetite. She admired my beautiful garden
and told your father that what she wanted, more than anything
in the world, was
Greens, greens, and nothing but greens
Parsley, peppers, cabbages, and celery
Asparagus and watercress and
Fiddleferns and lettuce!
He said 'all right,'
But it wasn't, quite
Cause I caught him in the autumn
In my garden one night!
He was robbing me
Raping me
Rooting through my rutabaga
Raiding my arugula and
Ripping up the rampion
My champion! My favorite!
I should have laid a spell on him right there
I could have turned him into stone
Or a dog, or a chair
But I let him have the rampion
I'd lots to spare
In return, however
I said, 'Fair is fair
You can let me have the baby
That your wife will bear
And we'll call it square.'

Baker: I had a brother?

Witch: No. But you had a sister

Baker: Where is she?

Witch: She's mine now and you'll never find her.
Small price to pay for what else your father stole
from me. It cost me my youth and my beauty.
My mother warned me. She would punish me
with the curse of ugliness if I ever lost any of them.

Wife: Lost what?

Witch: The beans

Baker, Wife: Beans?

Witch: The special beans
I let him go I didn't know
He'd stolen my beans!
I was watching him crawl
Back over the wall!
When Bang! Crash!
And the lightning flash!
And, well, that's another story
Never mind. Anyway, at last
The big day came
And I made my claim
"Oh, don't take away the baby,"
They shrieked and screeched
But I did and I hid her
Where she'll never be reached
Your father cried
And your mother died
When for extra measure
I admit it was a pleasure
I said, "Sorry, I'm still not mollified."
And I laid a little spell on them
You too, son, that your family tree
would always be a barren one

Wife: Oh! 

Baker: How could you do that?

Witch: And when your mother died
your father deserted you. Your father
was no father so why should you be?
Now there's no more fuss
And there's no more scenes
And my garden thrives
You should see my nectarines!
But I'm telling you the same
I tell kings and queens
Don't ever never ever
Mess around with my greens!
Especially the beans

Jack: Aw, yeah, but why do we have
to go to next village?
 
Jack's mother:  Because everyone
in this village knows the cow hasn't
given a drop of milk in weeks.

Jack: That's cheating.

Jack's mother: We're starving, Jack, 
don't you understand that? Now,
you're not to accept less than five pounds
for her. Are you listening to me?


Jack: Yes

Jack's mother: How much are you to ask?

Jack: No more than five pounds

Jack's mother: Less than five!

Jack's Mother: Into the woods
The time is now, we have to live
I don't care how, into the woods
to sell the cow, you must begin
the journey. Straight through the woods
and don't delay, we have to face
the marketplace, into the woods
to journey's end

Jack: Into the woods to sell a friend

Witch: You wish to have the curse reversed?
I'll need a certain potion first
Go to the wood and bring me back
One: the cow as white as milk
Two: the cape as red as blood
Three: the hair as yellow as corn
Four: the slipper as pure as gold
Bring me these before the chime
Of midnight
In three days' time tis then the blue moon
reappears which comes but once each
hundred years. Bring them and 
I guarantee, a child as perfect as child can be
Go to the wood!

Stepmother: Ladies, our carriage awaits

Cinderella: Now may I go to the festival?

Stepmother: The festival?
Darling, those nails!
Darling, those clothes!
The lentils are one thing but
Darling, with those
You'd make us the fools of the festival
and mortify the prince!

Cinderella: The festival lasts three nights.
Surely you can let me be there for one of them.

Stepmother: The king is trying to find his son
a wife. Not a scullery maid! We must be gone, go!
 
Cinderella: I wish

Wife: Beans? These must be the witches' beans
We'll take them with us

Baker: We?

Wife: Yes.

Baker: We? You're not coming. It's not safe out there

Wife: I can help you.

Baker: No. I can do this on my own

Baker: The spell is on my house
Only I can lift the spell
The spell is on my house

Wife [over]: No, no, the spell is on our house
We must lift the spell together
The spell is on our house

Baker: Now, tell me, what am I to return with?

Wife: Oh, you don't remember?
The cow as white as milk
The cape as red as blood
The hair as yellow as corn
The slipper as pure as gold

Baker: The cow as white as milk
The cape as red as blood
The hair as yellow as corn
The slipper as pure as gold

Cinderella: I still wish to go to the festival
But how am I ever to get to the festival?

Baker [simultaneously]: The cow as white as milk
The cape as red as blood
The hair as yellow as corn

Cinderella [over]: I know!
I'll visit mother's grave
The grave at the hazel tree
And tell her I just want to
Go to the king's festival

Baker: The cow, the cape
The slipper as pure as gold

Wife: The hair!

Baker, Cinderella: Into the woods
It's time to go, it may be all
In vain, you/I know
Into the woods-but even so
I have to take the journey

Wife: Into the woods
The path is straight
You know it well

Baker: But who can tell?

Wife: Into the woods to lift the spell

Cinderella: Into the woods to visit mother

Jack's mother: Into the woods to sell the cow

Jack: To get the money

Cinderella: To go to the festival

Little Red Riding Hood: Into the woods
to grandmother's house, into the woods
to grandmother's house

Little Red Riding Hood, Baker:
The way is clear
The light is good
I have ho fear
Nor no one should
The woods are just trees
The trees are just wood
No need to be afraid there

Baker: There's something in the glade there

All: Into the woods
Without delay
But careful not
To lose the way
Into the woods
Who knows what may
Be lurking on the journey?
Into the woods
To get the thing
That makes it worth
The journeying
Into the woods

Stepmother, stepsisters: To see the king

Jack, Jack's Mother: To sell the cow

Baker, Wife: To make the potion

All (overlapping): To see
To sell
To get
To bring
To make
To lift
To go to the festival!
Into the woods!
Into the woods!
Into the woods
Then out of the woods
And home before dark!
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