THE WITCH'S RAP - Meryl Streep, James Corden&Emily Blunt (Into The Woods, 2014)

Baker: Who might that be?

Wife: We've sold our last loaf of bread

Baker: It's the witch from next door!

Wife: We have no bread

Witch: I don't want your bread!

Baker: Now what is it you wish?

Witch: It's not what I wish. It's what you wish.
Nothing cooking in that belly now, is there?
And there will never be. Unless you do exactly as I say.
In three days time, a blue moon will appear. Only then
can the curse be undone

Wife: What curse?

Witch: The one I placed on this house

Baker: What are you talking about?

Witch: In the past, when you were no more than a babe,
your father brought his young wife and you to this cottage.
They were a lovely couple, but not lovely neighbors.
You see, your mother was with child and she developed an
unusual appetite. She admired my beautiful garden
and told your father that what she wanted, more than anything
in the world, was
Greens, greens, and nothing but greens
Parsley, peppers, cabbages, and celery
Asparagus and watercress and
Fiddleferns and lettuce!
He said 'all right,'
But it wasn't, quite
Cause I caught him in the autumn
In my garden one night!
He was robbing me
Raping me
Rooting through my rutabaga
Raiding my arugula and
Ripping up the rampion
My champion! My favorite!
I should have laid a spell on him right there
I could have turned him into stone
Or a dog, or a chair
But I let him have the rampion
I'd lots to spare
In return, however
I said, 'Fair is fair
You can let me have the baby
That your wife will bear
And we'll call it square.'

Baker: I had a brother?

Witch: No. But you had a sister

Baker: Where is she?

Witch: She's mine now and you'll never find her.
Small price to pay for what else your father stole
from me. It cost me my youth and my beauty.
My mother warned me. She would punish me
with the curse of ugliness if I ever lost any of them.

Wife: Lost what?

Witch: The beans

Baker, Wife: Beans?

Witch: The special beans
I let him go I didn't know
He'd stolen my beans!
I was watching him crawl
Back over the wall!
When Bang! Crash!
And the lightning flash!
And, well, that's another story
Never mind. Anyway, at last
The big day came
And I made my claim
"Oh, don't take away the baby,"
They shrieked and screeched
But I did and I hid her
Where she'll never be reached
Your father cried
And your mother died
When for extra measure
I admit it was a pleasure
I said, "Sorry, I'm still not mollified."
And I laid a little spell on them
You too, son, that your family tree
would always be a barren one

Wife: Oh!

Baker: How could you do that?

Witch: And when your mother died
your father deserted you. Your father
was no father so why should you be?
Now there's no more fuss
And there's no more scenes
And my garden thrives
You should see my nectarines!
But I'm telling you the same
I tell kings and queens
Don't ever never ever
Mess around with my greens!
Especially the beans

You wish to have the curse reversed?
I'll need a certain potion first
Go to the wood and bring me back
One: the cow as white as milk
Two: the cape as red as blood
Three: the hair as yellow as corn
Four: the slipper as pure as gold
Bring me these before the chime
Of midnight
In three days' time tis then the blue moon
reappears which comes but once each
hundred years. Bring them and
I guarantee, a child as perfect as child can be
Go to the wood!

Witch: Meryl Streep
Wife: Emily Blunt
Baker: James Corden
2019 Big Little Lies (Sedmilhářky, HBO)
2019 Big Little Lies (Sedmilhářky, HBO)
2018 Mary Poppins Returns (premiéra 25.12.2018)
2018 Mary Poppins Returns (premiéra 25.12.2018)
2018 Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again (premiéra 20.07.2018)
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